I stayed home from church today with Jess, Megan, and Sam, and this afternoon, I had one of my first chances all day of being alone when I went to get the mail (Yes, I got the mail on Sunday; I forgot yesterday, and it's not like I was making anybody work. It was just sitting there in my box, very righteously).
Back Backstory:
Everyone but Emma and I have been sick with the flu all week. Jessica keeps calling it "swine," because, apparently, that's what the teenagers these days are calling it. Somehow, "I've got swine," sounds cooler than "I have swine flu" or "I seem to have contracted the H1N1 virus"? I don't know. I'm just glad I'm not a teenager these days and leaving it at that. We don't know for sure if it was swine, and I don't really care. All I know is that I've had most of the kids home all. week. long. Jessica cares that it was swine, because, and I promise you I'm not making this up, she wants to tell her grandkids that she survived an epidemic. Always looking ahead, that Jessica.
Back to the Backstory:
I'm on my way out the door to get the mail/be alone/wish the mailbox were farther away than the house next door, and Sam (pictured above from last week, showing me how he "be's dead") comes after me, trying to come with me. No amount of "I'll be right back," or, "I'm just getting the mail," could persuade him that nothing fun was afoot and that he should just leave me be. So I play my trump card: "You don't have any pants on, and you can't go outside without pants." He looks down at his pajama-shirt-and-underwear ensemble (Yes, in the afternoon. He hasn't left the house much either this week. Don't judge me), sees that he's beat, and goes back to whatever robot probe he was building (just a guess, as it's entirely possible he was playing with puppies or tinkertoys or cars).
Now the Story:
Right before the kids went to bed tonight, I realized I was really thirsty, so I went to get some water bottles out of my car (helpful hint: it's easier to go back and forth to your car countless times to get 1 or 2 water bottles at a time than to ever just get around to carrying the whole case in at once), and Sam, sensing I was escaping again, came running to the door, screaming to go with. I was already halfway down the walk, so I stopped, turned around, told him I was just going to the car, I'd be right back, and that he couldn't come, and turned back around and started back on my way.
Pause.
"I HAVE PANTH ON!"